Unchurched Consciousness

I'm in Nashville for two weeks as part of a Fuller School of Intercultural Studies cohort. We've shared a lot of discussions both in and out of class concerning post-modernism, church, and misson. One of the guys in the group is a leader of one of the megachurch movements based in the South, and he said to me: "Nobody in America involved in church planting is patting themselves on the back right now." It was a humble admission that despite all the efforts at technical fixes and tweeking the programs, the unchurched/uncomitted population grows and churches continue to find themselves struggling to make a real difference in the emerging culture. 'Postmodernism' and the current cultural climate is a threat to some and a breath of fresh air to others. Either way, the Gospel remains the only answer.

Last night, I sat up praying, thinking, (and yea, I suppose this is a pretty "postmodern" thing to do) and consulting with God as I scrolled through the web. At one point I opened up Google and typed inside of quotes: "Why I don't go to church." I found 58 pages worth of why people 'don't go to church.' In some cases the sites were by Christians explaining a different way to think about church (organic/house church, or example), but many others were sincere people who've just given up. And a few were scary -- vampire sites, stuff like that.

For a moment the sensation came over me of how deeply, desperately Jesus wants these people... all of them... all of us. Below is one of the blog entries I found. It is without any of the offensive metaphors that you would find in some of the 580 (+1 now that this blog is posted) websites containing the phrase "why I don't go to church." It is one perspective of one lonely person who has 'been to church' but has yet to experience good news.

May this young man be as a prophet to us. He is another voice calling the church out of maintenance and into mission, out of audience and into community.
-jared

Lost Boy Blog Entry:
Well... today was,in
short,not one of my best days. I went to church for the first time in 5 and a half months and I ended up sitting alone. One of my friends invited me to sit with her because she knew how hard it was for me to come back after being gone so long. Then during worship she disappeared with her other friends and I was just left sitting there for about 15-20 minutes surrounded by a bunch of people I didn't know until I decided to go sit alone on the other side of the room. I don't know why I moved, either way I knew I was going to be alone. I was so annoyed. Not specifically at my friend for leaving me ,but at myself. It seems like wherever I go people either hate me or don't know I'm there. I felt so invisible to everyone,and yet still so self-conscious. I don't have a family to go to church with and I just don't feel like I belong. I dissapeared for 5 and a half months. When people ask me why I don't go to church anymore I don't know what to tell them because I don't even know. I feel like such an outsider. Everyone else practically grew up together or are just really close. I don't know why it's so hard for me to make friends,but I feel like I just don't belong. So after that I came home and I ate dinner in the kitchen alone. Today's not one of my best days but I'll just repeat my motto :"Tommorow will be different."